You barely open your eyes. You are alone. Even surrounded by your mom, dad, family, you are and you will always be alone. It is you, and only yourself who you will carry wherever you go. Life happens exactly where you are.
You can be in your house, or decide to go for a pilgrimage at Tibet, everything you will always possess is yourself.
You OPEN your eyes. You awake to your true nature. You realize you may not be "just" a regular human being. You sense you are different, something inside you leads you to seek for answers, for others that might be able to help you. " Are there others like me?" You may think. "What am I? What is this I am feeling?"
Something makes you so unsettled that you think you may be getting crazy.
You make a decision to go for more information. Then, your identification points you to the direction of vampires...
There may be a moment of surprise, shock, fear, empowerment. Many different feelings can run through the veins of different individuals. Each one may interpret from different perspectives.
Alone...
That is the sensation. Loneliness.
You decide to find a group. Maybe read something that you align with. But groups are made of people, and people may have their own agendas. Different personalities, egos, purposes.
Some people do really enjoy the experience of pertaining to a group. They feel safe, they enjoy the interaction and the exchange.
"Belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group. Whether it is family, friends, co-workers, a religion, or something else, people tend to have an 'inherent' desire to belong and be an important part of something greater than themselves. This implies a relationship that is greater than simple acquaintance or familiarity. The need to belong is the need to give and receive attention to and from others.
Belonging is a strong and inevitable feeling that exists in human nature. To belong or not to belong can occur due to choices of one's self, or the choices of others. Not everyone has the same life and interests, hence not everyone belongs to the same thing or person. Without belonging, one cannot identify themselves as clearly, thus having difficulties communicating with and relating to their surroundings." 1
Also, the sense of being guided brings some kind of safety. It makes the person a little more secure of the steps he is taking. We cannot deny that it also can become something negative, like a crutch since the young learner can rely too much on his instructor, guide, teacher. But from my experience, I have seen some people that really prefer the interaction of groups, houses or Orders.
"Abraham Maslow suggested that the need to belong was a major source of human motivation. He thought that it was one of 5 human needs in his hierarchy of needs, along with physiological needs, safety, self-esteem, and self-actualization. These needs are arranged in a hierarchy and must be satisfied in order. After physiological and safety needs are met an individual can then work on meeting the need to belong and be loved. According to Maslow, if the first two needs are not met, then an individual cannot completely love someone else." 2
On the other hand, some individuals prefer to walk their Journey in a lonely way. Some follow a tradition, on their own, others do not get linked to any specific thing, but learn from different sources. Some words are used to describe these individuals, but I prefer to see them as they are, people that have just decided to not join anything, they are there, following their individual paths, as individual beings.
Is there a correct way?
I believe the right one is, as I always say, that one that aligns with your heart and soul. More spiritualized, less spiritualized, more focus on magick, LHP, RHP, the need for group rituals, the practices a person can do alone...
There are so many ways and options. The important thought is to not go by others footsteps... Do not try to fit somewhere, just because it seems "nice". Do not try to join a group because loners are criticized. Do not leave a group because groups are criticized.
What works for me, may not work for you. And even inside groups, the diversity can be so big that, one begins influencing the other.
Problems may arise as the individuals working in groups may develop thoughts about the ones in other groups, or the loners. The sense of honor and loyalty can be very strong in some individuals, and in my opinion, it has to be, since you defend that thing you consider Sacred to you. But everything has to go from the correct level of judgment. The action should be always from the heart, and not blind faith, following rumors, or acting out of anger, without even checking if that is the correct way.
"In-group favoritism, sometimes known as in-group–out-group bias, in-group bias, or intergroup bias, is a pattern of favoring members of one's in-group over out-group members. This can be expressed in evaluation of others, in allocation of resources, and in many other ways.
This interaction has been researched by many psychologists and linked to many theories related to group conflict and prejudice. The phenomenon is primarily viewed from a social psychology standpoint. Studies have shown that in-group favoritism arises as a result of the formation of cultural groups.[3][4] These cultural groups can be divided based off seemingly trivial observable traits, but with time populations grow to associate certain traits with certain behavior, increasing covariation. This then incentivizes in-group bias.
Two prominent theoretical approaches to the phenomenon of in-group favoritism are realistic conflict theory and social identity theory. Realistic conflict theory proposes that intergroup competition, and sometimes intergroup conflict, arises when two groups have opposing claims to scarce resources. In contrast, social identity theory posits a psychological drive for positively distinct social identities as the general root cause of in-group favoring behavior."3
The thought that separates "us" from "them"
"Social categorization occurs whenever we think about others in terms of their category memberships rather than on the basis of other, more personal information about the individual.
Social categorization can have a variety of negative consequences for the people who are the targets of our stereotypes. But it becomes even more important and has even more powerful effects on our reactions to others when the categorization becomes more emotionally involving, and particularly when the categorization involves categorization into liked ingroups and potentially disliked outgroups.
Because our ancestors lived in small social groups that were frequently in conflict with other groups, it was evolutionarily functional for them to view members of other groups as different and potentially dangerous. Differentiating between “us” and “them” probably helped keep us safe and free from disease, and as a result, the human brain became very efficient in making these distinctions. The problem is that these naturally occurring tendencies may lead us to prefer people who are like us, and in some cases even to unfairly reject people from outgroups."4
There is this feeling of "us" and "them". The first level is when there is the thought of vampires versus mundanes.
Then segregation may begin happening inside the "inner" circle. The "us" becomes our group, and "them" the others, groups or loners.
Maybe it is a natural thing, and maybe there are benefits that can be extracted from this way of thinking. But many negative issues happen as well.
One day I noticed something very curious. There was an argument going on in a Facebook group. People disagreeing, "vampires" debating against each other. Suddenly, a post with something that affected everyone was placed by a person. I do not remember exactly what it was, but it offended almost everybody there, and what I saw was something like a union of people against this other person. At that moment the "us" became the "whole group of vampires". There was not "my group, my people, my house".
For me, it was something very interesting to observe. It is like thinking about people in general, everyone thinking about themselves, their selfish thoughts, defending their causes, but when something affects a greater area they unite with their neighbors, co-workers, defending something that is related to everyone.
There is much that can be learned with the exchange of ideas inside a circle, as well as much can be learned when you are in solitude and have only your inner master to guide you, the experiences that may take you to succeed but also to fail a lot. And then you learn from the accomplishments and failures.
I enjoy the different ways, the respect, the interaction, the freedom.
The kaleidoscope of possibilities...
So what is better: Having a master to guide you? Working by yourself? Having friends you can count on?
Anything you do, any place you are, in the end, you will always be alone.
It is your Self, your personality, your life, your thoughts, your ego.
Even with others, be yourself, act following your heart, be rational.
Do not be a sheep, in a group or not.
The steps can only be taken by the one walking...
The one thirsty should be the one that drinks the water...
No one can learn and evolve for you, so no one can decide things that only you have to.
It is ok to be in a group. It is ok to be alone.
When you realize that you will always be alone, and that is not bad, you become your best company.
Do not only be lonely, be unique.
It does not matter if you are indeed walking by yourself, or if you belong to a huge group of people, you may have company in some parts of the road, but in the end, it is always a lonely Journey.
"Fitting in is a quest of fools. Being accepted a hope of the weak. Embrace your uniqueness notwithstanding opposition and criticism. ☥"
-Luis Marques
Ref.
1. / 2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belongingness
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In-group_favoritism
4. https://opentextbc.ca/socialpsychology/chapter/ingroup-favoritism-and-prejudice/
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